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27 de nov. de 2020 · Learn how to love yourself first and improve your happiness, confidence, and impact on others. Discover the benefits of self-love, the challenges, and the tips to make it happen.
- Overview
- Treating Yourself with Kindness
- Creating Self-Love Habits
- Using Loving-Kindness Meditation (LK
- Understanding Self-Love
The easiest way to love yourself is to treat yourself like your own BFF. It might seem like it's easier to love others than to love yourself, but it's tough to build healthy relationships if you don't love yourself first. Quite simply, this means you recognize your own self-worth and live your own life as honestly as you can.
Read on to learn some strategies you can start today so you can embark on a journey of loving yourself.
This article is based on an interview with our bestselling author, podcast host and speaker, Kamal Ravikant.
Check out the full interview here.
Focus on the things you like about yourself rather than calling yourself names or insulting yourself. Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend.
Celebrate your accomplishments and reward yourself for your effort.
Let go of negative thought patterns
Negative thoughts often come from outside people whose opinions we value and from whom we seek love and acceptance.
Drill down to the core of those negative thoughts and tell yourself a different story. Think about what you would say to a close friend who said those things about themselves.
For example, if you forgot to buy trash bags when you got groceries, you might say to yourself, "Ugh! I'm so stupid! How could I forget that?" Instead of calling yourself stupid, you might think, "Oops! Forgot those pesky trash bags. I'll just pick some up next time I go out—no big deal."
Don't try to fight negative thoughts, though—they're a part of who you are. Simply drown them out with more positive, affirmative thoughts about yourself. It might feel weird at first, but after a while, it becomes habitual to think that way.
Accept your flaws as part of who you are.
List your positive attributes and reflect on them daily.
If you habitually think negatively of yourself, this can be a tough one! Try to come up with just one thing each week to add to the list. Before you know it, you'll have a nice long list to reflect on as you realize what a wonderful and beautiful person you are.
Be specific! For example, instead of, "I am generous," you might write, "Any time I see that a friend is struggling, I give them a small, thoughtful gift to show that I care. This makes me generous."
As you read and reflect on your list, remember that even the items that seem insignificant are still reasons that you are worthy of respect and love.
Take time to reflect and recharge so you have energy for others.
It's easy to feel guilty about spending time on yourself, but the reality is that this time allows you to recharge so that you're better able to help others. Give yourself permission to spend time reflecting on yourself and your own life, and never feel guilty for taking the time that you need.
Explore the principles behind LKM.
This form of meditation enhances the loving-kindness you feel for yourself and for all living things. When practiced regularly, it will give you the tools you need to become proficient in self-love.
Use LKM to love without expectations or conditions.
Loving-kindness doesn't depend on someone's relationship to you or whether they "deserve" it. Rather, it extends to all living beings. It flows from you without any expectation of receiving anything in return.
LKM is also love without judgment. Judging yourself or others often causes misery in relationships with others or within your own mind. When you love without judgment, you love selflessly.
Begin your LKM session by breathing slowly and deeply.
A lack of self-love prevents you from advocating for your needs.
Advocating for your own needs is an important part of self-care. But if you don't believe you're worthy, you won't see your needs as something worth sticking up for.
A lack of self-love can also cause you to be dependent on others around you in an unhealthy way. For example, if you rely on others for validation, you might set aside your own needs to gain their approval.
Lack of self-love can also impede emotional healing and progress. If you've decided to see a therapist, improving your self-image helps increase the chances that you'll have a good outcome in psychotherapy.
Childhood experiences are important to your capacity for self-love.
Your relationship with your parents affects the development of your character throughout your life. If you had a troubled childhood where your physical, emotional, or mental needs weren't met, you may have issues with self-esteem and self-love as an adult.
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